Poo...yup, it happens.
I have debated about writing this one for a while but I feel
the need to let people know the funny stuff that happens when raising a kid let alone a kid
with disabilities. I will warn you this
will get gross as I explain my thoughts when dealing with this incident.
Like most parents of a handicapped kiddo, you really don’t
get a lot of date nights so when they came around you really have to make the
most out of it. Kathy and I had the
opportunity to go out with a bunch of old friends from high school and jumped
at the opportunity when our neighbor Casey said she would babysit Maggie as
well as Dan and Kate. Casey was an
awesome teenager who was one of the few, if not the only, teens not afraid to
take care of Maggie and watch her on occasion.
Kathy and I were thrilled. We got
cleaned up, put on our fancy clothes (jeans and a button down) and look forward
to a good time throwing back drinks and reminiscing about the glory days. Well, it goes to say that we both tied one on
and were dropped back off at home by friends.
We walk in the house and see Casey watching TV by
herself. What runs through my
head…”Awesome!!! All the kids in bed so
we can crash and sleep in!!!” We pay
Casey, send her on her way and head upstairs to check on the kiddos. We check on Dan…sound asleep. We check on Kate…too cute, awesome, sound
asleep. We check on Maggie…holy
crap…literally.
I have to preface the rest of this story with a statement
that Mags had one quality I did not appreciate at all. She had no aversion to poop. It didn’t smell bad to her. She didn’t see it as disgusting. It was just a lump of clay. She didn’t mess with it much but if left
alone for a while, it became an art project.
I crack open the door to Maggie’s room and it was as if I
stuck my nose into a horse’s behind. The
smell alone would have floored a lesser man.
I had cleaned up poo hands and a smear here or there before. Heck, I had even cleaned up a runny diaper or
two. I admit, I usually just yelled,
“OG, this one has your name on it.” Nothing
prepared me for what I was exposed to that night. I went to flip on the light and as I did my
hand was coated with poop from the light switch. There are things a person can’t “unsee” or
“unsmell” but that room was one I wish I could.
Kathy and I immediately looked for Maggie. She was on the other side of the bed, curled
up like a cute little bean, naked and covered head to toe in poop. It was as if she had covered herself like a
hippo does with mud to stay cool or warm, whichever, but it truly does matter. My little poop bean…innocent, smelly,
disgusting and cute all at the same time.
Once we found her and she was fine we looked around the room and that is
when our jaws dropped. Maggie must have
dropped that a-bomb of poos that night as the room was coated. Many of you would probably prefer me not to
go farther but it only takes away from the story. It was ground into the carpet, smeared on
every wall, on the windows, curtains, on her dresser, on her clothes, on all
her toys, in her books, on her bookshelf, the mirror, the door, door handle, in
the bed, on every pillow, on stuff animals, on hung pictures, on the base
boards and even on the inside wall of her closet. Needless to say, my deserved hangover set in
early. Kathy looked at me with her big
doe-eyes and said I’ll take Maggie and you can take the room then scooped up
Maggie and ran for her life.
I ventured down stairs and picked up the essentials
(cleaning supplies, wash rags and a bucket).
I filled the bucket with warm water and peaked back into the room
wishing it would just go away…nope, still there. I started at 1 AM. At first I was like a kitten testing water
for the first time. Dab, dab, dab with
the corner of the wash rag in the water.
Dab, dab, dab on the wall. By 2PM
I was a watered down poop tornado. There
was no more lightly dabbing. It was full
on poop battle royal. I was dunking the
rag in the bucket, slapping the rag on the wall with a full on karate kid wax
on wax off style. Poo water was flying
everywhere and I didn’t care. I must
have looked like the Tasmanian devil with my spasmodic cleaning style. I scrubbed everything. If it got in my way, it was getting
cleaned. I moved the furniture and
pulled up the carpet. It couldn’t
survive the battle. Maggie-1
Carpet-0. I finally finished in a sweaty
lump at 4:30AM. With the room clean, the
laundry close to being done and my hangover burnt off, I slinked back to my
room and that is when I saw what truly matters…
I saw my beautiful wife embraced with my little clean bean
Maggie. They were sound asleep and
spooning in my bed. I now pause and
thank God for that memory. That is what
matters. The love we share with one
another. The sense of belonging and
comfort that love brings. It can melt
away bitterness, rage, anger, and pain.
That memory of walking into my bedroom that night will stick with me
until my dying day. A mother’s true love
for her child.
Moral of the story may sound corny but it fits…”poo happens”
but it’s what you decide to make out of it.
Maggie made it a night of fun and snuggling with her Mom. OG made it a night of tender love and caring
for her child. I made it a night of
turmoil, sweat, frustration and anger until it all melted away with one glimpse
of love. So when like gives you a poo
storm, open up your umbrella and find the one thing that can carry you through
anything. Find love.
Parting Thought
So I will never claim to be a bright man and I dare say
anyone truly know how someone’s brain works in full. I do know I believe in God and God answers our
pleas and calls for help. I believe God
knows our lives and is active every day in them. Sometimes we see the outcomes and sometimes
we don’t. I have to share I had the most
inspiring dream.
I dreamt I was asleep in my bed with my wife and I see Maggie
walk into our room. She was a full grown
teenager but her gait was different. She
moved with grace and ease. There was no
shuffling of her feet with her head down as usual. It was as if she had full use of her body
like she had not before. As I woke (in
my dream), I looked up at her and saw her beautiful face with a huge smile on
it. She said no words and slid into our
bed right between OG and me. She
embraced me and we hugged and snuggled like we would when she was here on
Saturday mornings. There was warmth and
comfort. There was a sense of full
health and joy. There was an immense
sense of peace.
I woke up with this swelling in my heart. I felt her love for me. I felt her peace and comfort. I can’t explain it. It was overwhelming in a good way. I lost all sense of discomfort with her
loss. I only knew peace and joy. I don’t know if it was just my mind, a true
visit from Maggie’s soul, or a movement from God to ease my pain. This I believe… when I cried out in pain, a
sense of comfort was given. I asked God
to ease the pain in my heart and it was answered. I see it that way and take comfort in it.
